I Can Handle It Funny Quotes

Funny Quotes And Sayings About Funny Memes "Laughter is an important part of a good relationship. It's an immense achievement when you can move from your thinking that your partner is merely an idiot to think that they are that wonderfully complex thing called a loveable idiot. And often that means having a little bit of a sense of humor about their flaws. Alain de Botton

Best Laughter Quotes "A clever conjurer is welcome anywhere, and those of us whose powers of entertainment are limited to the setting of booby-traps or the arranging of apple-pie beds must view with envy the much greater tribute of laughter and applause which is the lot of the prestidigitator with some natural gift for legerdemain. A. A. Milne

#1. Some people make me want to roll my eyes and say whateverrrrrrrr!"

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#2. Nobody texts faster than a pissed off female."

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#3. Whaaaaat?!"

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#4. I'm a huge fan of saying #you're welcome" really loud when people don't day thank you."

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#5. I may have freaked out and landed flat on my arse, but you my eight-legged friend, are now dead!"

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#6. People ask me why is it so hard to trust people. I ask… why is it so hard to keep a promise."

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#7. Rain falls because the clouds can no longer handle the weight. Tears fall because the heart can no longer handle the pain."

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Funny Quotes And Sayings

#8. When you really want to slap someone, do it and say #Mosquito"

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#9. Taking a sick day because I'm sick of people."

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#10. I decided to go on a road trip and not come back until I ran out of money… walked to the end of the driveway and back."

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#11. Might wake up early and go running but I also might win the lottery, the odds are about the same."

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#12. I did a push-up today. Well, actually I fell down, but I had to use my arms to get back up, so… close enough now I need chocolate"

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#13. The greatest pleasure in life is doing what other people say you cannot do."

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#14. Funny Quotes And Sayings "What are three better words than #I love you"?"

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#15. Me: *Runs for 10 minutes* …"Am I skinny yet?"

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#16. Pisstified(ADJ): The state of being equal parts pissed-off and mystified at the same time."

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#17. I wish my eyes could take pictures."

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#18. Hilarious Memes

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#19. Funny Quotes Laughing So Hard "I will always miss my dad."

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#20. Does anyone else stare at the dead body in a movie or TV scene to see if you can catch them breathing?"

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#21. Whatever you do, always give 100% unless you are donating blood :p"

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#22. Don't piss me off I will stop taking my pills, and nobody wants that-do they?"

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#23. I miss being able to slam my phone down when I hang up on somebody. Violently pressing #End call" just doesn't do it for me."

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#24. Some people at your job may not like you but you are there to make money not friends…"

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#25. I don't know about you, but people make me want to say bad words."

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#26. Don't worry about getting older. You still get to do stupid things, only slower."

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#27. Marriage lets you annoy one special person for the rest of your life."

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#28. I am multi-talented! I can talk, annoy and irritate you all at the same time!"

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#29. You know you're really stressed when you start getting on your own nerves."

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#30. My kids call it #yelling" when I raise my voice… But I call it #Motivational speaking" for the selective hearing!"

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#31. Funny Quotes And Sayings Hilarious Memes

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#32. Sometimes you have to forget what's gone, appreciate what remains, and look forward to what's coming next."

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#33. To my friends. I wish peace, love, and health. Blah, blah… screw that! I wish you lot's of sex, booze, orgasms and hope you win the lotto."

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#34. A good friend calls you in jail. A great friend bails you out of jail. Your best friend sits next to you and says 'wasn't that fun?'"

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#35. Do you ever notice that people would rather stop speaking to you instead of apologizing when they are wrong?"

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#36. You see a person's true colors when you are no longer beneficial to their life."

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#37. Admit it you pushed a door that says pull"

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